So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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