Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
