Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
