Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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