Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
