And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
