HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This is my gift to your gina
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
