I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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