i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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