FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I love you.
Bad choice
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
