i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
