i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
