Your dad touched me again.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
