Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
