There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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