summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
