Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
