I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
