Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
