lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
