I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
