I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
