What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
