I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
