problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
