I am puke
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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