If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
