Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
