If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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