We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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