Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
