I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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