you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I have post one night stand depression
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