It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
