Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
