Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
