I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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