he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
