Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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