Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
