Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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