I look better un-naked...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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