there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
