I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
