Screwed.edu
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
