Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
