I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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