How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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