We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
vagina is talking i cant
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
