I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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