Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
