i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
